Thursday, December 6, 2007

Road by horn

As I sit here, at the back of an internet cafe in Bhuj, India, I can still hear the road. This is common as it's 'road by horn' in India. It's one of the three 'needs' for driving in India;

First you need good brakes
Second you need a good horn
Most importantly you need good luck.

The skilled Indian driver uses his horn repeatedly, sometimes tapping out a nasty tune other times fist down hard 'Get out of the F-ing way'. The horn can be anything from hello; hello - I'm overtaking; hello sir - want a lift; watch where you're going; come-on; hello gorgerous; and probably much more.

Horns have different sounds as well; there's the nasal sheep horn, the wet continuous fart horn, the angry pig horn, the angry man horn, the pup horn, the elephant roar and the train coming the tunnel horn.

I'm not sure what Indian nerves are like. Mine, have been shattered. They were shattered from day one and now the remains of my nerves get a workout each day.

If you ever come to India - bring ear plugs.

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